Tag Archive | Clothing

Diary of a Swimsuit Shopper

I am not a human being trying to have a spiritual experience; I am a spiritual being having a (sometimes difficult) human experience.

I am not yet, in my opinion, in any shape to don a swimsuit, however neither was this hilarious woman! I received this email from a friend and had a welcome roar of laughter.

(Author unknown) 
When I was a child in the 1950s, the bathing suit for the mature figure was-boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered.  They were built to hold back and uplift, and they did a good job. Today’s stretch fabrics are designed for the prepubescent girl with a figure carved from a potato chip.

Debbie Reynolds, corset style bathing suit

The mature woman has a choice, she can either go up front to the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a skirt, coming away looking like a hippopotamus that escaped from Disney‘s Fantasia, or she can wander around every run-of-the-mill department store trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of fluorescent rubber bands.

What choice did I have? 
I wandered around, made my sensible choice and entered the chamber of horrors known as  the fitting room.  The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch material.  The Lycra used in bathing costumes was developed, I believe, by NASA to launch small rockets from a slingshot, which gives the added bonus that if you manage to actually lever yourself into one, you would be protected from shark attacks.  Any shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would immediately suffer whiplash.

I fought my way into the bathing suit, but as I twanged the shoulder strap in place I gasped in horror, my boobs had disappeared! 
Eventually, I found one boob cowering under my left armpit.  It took a while to find the other. At last I located it flattened beside my seventh rib.

The horrors of trying on bathing suits

The problem is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups.  The mature woman is now meant to wear her boobs spread across her chest like a speed bump.  I realigned my speed bump and lurched  toward the mirror to take a full view assessment.

The bathing suit fit all right, but unfortunately it only fitted those bits of me willing to stay inside it.  The rest of me oozed out rebelliously from top, bottom and sides.  I looked like a lump of Playdoh wearing undersized cling wrap.

As I tried to work out where all those extra bits had come from, the prepubescent sales girl popped her head through the curtain, “Oh, there you are,” she said, admiring the bathing suit.

I replied that I wasn’t so sure and asked what else she had to show me. I tried on a cream crinkled one that made me look like a lump of masking tape, and a floral two-piece that gave the appearance of an over-sized napkin in a serving ring.
Trying on bathing suits

Miss, could you bring me a 20-year-olds body with that suit?

I struggled into a pair of leopard-skin bathers with ragged frills and came out looking like Tarzan‘s Jane, pregnant with triplets and having a rough day.

I tried on a black number with  a midriff fringe and looked like a jellyfish in  mourning.
I tried on a bright pink pair with such a high cut leg I thought I would have to wax my eyebrows to wear them.

Finally, I found a suit that fit, it was a two-piece affair with a shorts-style bottom and a loose blouse-type top.  It was cheap, comfortable, and bulge-friendly, so I bought it.  My ridiculous search had a successful outcome, I figured.

When I got it home, I found a label that read, “Material might become transparent in water.”

So, if you happen to be on the beach or near any other body of water this year and I’m there too, I’ll be the one in cut-off jeans and a T-shirt!

You’d better be laughing or rolling on the floor by this time. Life isn’t about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain, with or without a stylish bathing suit!

What will you be seen wearing at the beach this summer? Do you have any clothing disaster stories to share?

Stop over at the Life List Club today. Sonia Medieros is posting. Go give her some comment luv, if you please.


A Passion For Fashion and Inner Beauty

You all know how I love featuring women in all professions who inspire the best in us. Sexy, Smart, and Strong Women.

Well, I’ve recently discovered J-na Garcia, owner of J-na Couture. J-na suffered a devastating injury as a child. Her life story could have been tragic, but she chose a smarter path. Her strength and positive nature was apparent even as a six year-old.

J-na combines two passions in her successful career—her passion for fashion and her passion for empowering women to recognize their uniqueness and inner beauty.

J-na says:

As a haute couture designer, I travel the world and meet dozens of women,J-na Garcia, J-na Couture
many who have shared very intimate pieces of their lives with me. I am struck at how
connected many of us are in overcoming major obstacles and trauma in our quest for our

These trials, if we do not let them crush us, can sharpen our intense appreciation for life
and freedom, and give us such passion and drive, that life takes on a completely different
hue, a strong, new intoxicating fragrance, and even a deeper spiritual meaning!”

I’d love for all of you to learn more about J-na.


MR: You had a horrific accident as a child that caused extreme pain and a long recovery. Can you tell our readers a little about your accident and recovery?

JG: When I was 6 years old, I climbed up on the stove to get the Alpha Bits cereal out of the upper cupboard for my little sisters and me. The pilot light caught my nightgown and I went up in flames! Panicking, I ran upstairs to my parents room, burning my body all the way. On the way to the emergency room, I noticed black ashes all over my legs, and I said, “Daddy, am I going to die?” ……….

 I am thankful that 6 year old children can develop “selective amnesia” and block or numb very painful things. What I remember in that state of shock, when I went up in flames, is running upstairs to find my mother. I completely forgot to “Stop, Drop, and Roll”, so the damage was greater than it might have been. I remember seeing black ashes all over my legs and tummy and asking my Dad if I was going to die. Almost 6 months in the hospital and 13 surgeries was a horribly scary thing for me. It took another year for those deep burns to heal.
MR: How did you manage to survive that experience with a positive outlook rather than wallowing in self-pity?

JG: As the eldest of 6 children, I had developed a responsible “Big Sister” attitude and I am naturally a curious and hyper-active person with a constant flow of new ideas and goals. I still have a hard time sitting still! That has helped me leap from a passive, “I am a victim” attitude, which is so boring, to a “What can we do now that is fun?” mind-set. For that I feel very blessed!


MR:Could you describe your business and how it grew?

J-na Haute Couture, beach cover up

J-na Haute Couture Beach Cover-Up

JG: I started out experimenting with new designs and techniques while I raised my kids, always hungry for original and breath-taking couture. I like dramatic clothes, and we travel constantly, so my Diva designs had to be comfortable! Gradually my friends and
business clients would ask me for variations on my creations they admired. This helped me gain confidence!

When my designer son Cal got involved, things really picked up! He has been an invaluable leader and business partner, always nudging me forward. He is an adrenaline-junkie too, but his patience and persistence and youthful influence have paved the way for our business. I follow, symbolically “kicking and screaming”. He was instrumental in our website’s creation and getting our couture in high-end boutiques abroad, even in a Prada boutique!


MR: How do you help other women overcome their trials in life?

JG: I have had the great honor of working as a community service support provider for decades. This volunteer work has been the greatest teacher for me, leading to astounding new understanding of what women and children have survived. These brave souls have
taught me so much. Their strength and resilience is truly inspiring.


MR: What’s your best advice for women striving for a goal, a dream?

JG: Write it down and post it in 3 places where you will see your goal constantly! Embed it deep within your sub-conscious. And if you LOVE this dream, protect it from all negative people and feedback.

Find mentors and cheerleaders. Ask and seek until you get a clear path of practical steps to follow. Be patient and work from your heart…if you love this dream, it will not feel like work. Never give up even if you are delayed. Persist!


MR: How do you define success?

JG: Finding your true inner soul,the fire that nourishes you, the spiritual answers you crave, and gentle loving people who prove loyal and kind, and with whom you wish to grow old.


MR: What is one fun thing we might not guess about you?

JG: I am completely crazy about dancing! It feeds my soul, but I am so addicted that I need to learn to pace myself. I once danced to Latin music for 4 hours straight without sitting down once! Wow, Did my knees pay for that!


Thank you J-na for setting the example that anyone can strive to achieve their highest goals when they push aside the negative forces that try to derail your efforts.

J-na Garcia, J-na CoutureJena Garcia began sewing at 9 years of age and developed a hunger for Vogue Designer patterns…always “embellishing” them her own way, she started out as a little haute couture designer. It has been a driving and burning passion of hers to create the most beautiful clothes ever, with a part of her trying to compensate for the shame of being disfigured. Jena thought, “If people notice my pretty outfit, then they won’t mind the scars on my legs.”
This drive to survive and thrive fueled this creative madness that led her to break all the rules and leap full throttle into the art of couture design after having spent years in company with the greats in couture fashion accessory designers. After 20 years of conceptual development, Jena is unleashing couture concepts that fit her criteria of what haute couture should be:
  • Handmade
  • Custom Fitted
  • Exclusive one-of-a-kind
  • High-end materials
  • Extravagant yet WEARABLE
  • Comfortable
  • Reflect the true self and personality of the individual.
  • Within the reach of more than just the super-wealthy!
Jena has enjoyed 42 years of active community volunteer work, teaching, speaking publicly, and traveling in the glamorous adventures of a seasoned haute couture designer. Giving back is one of the greatest joys of Jena’s life, along with raising 3 amazing kids with Josh, her husband of 33 years.
Please visit J-na Couture at  http://www.j-nacustomgsb.com and read Jena’s complete story at http://www.j-nacustomgsb.com/haute-couture-designer.html.
How have you overcome tragic circumstances? Do you have any questions for J-na?
Don’t forget to stop over at the Life List Club Blog today! My partner in crime, Jess Witkins, is posting today!

Oooh, Sexy! Shoes!

As a young woman, shopping for shoes was my favorite pastime. Dancing shoes, dressy boots, sexy sandals, slick workday shoes and, at least one pair of simply outrageous shoes…I had more shoes than outfits to wear them with.

I’d still love an assortment of shoes and boots, but I don’t need as many now…and stilettos don’t feel so good anymore. I’ve scoured the internet for, what the world considers, ‘Sexy Shoes’. See what you think. You may drool over some and cringe at others. Either way, it’ll be fun to imagine our own tootsies inside those shoes and dream up an occasion to wear them.

platform shoesbeaded heels

#1 – 8″ Platforms    #2 Leopard print    #3 Beaded silver sandals (my favorite)

red mary janesblack pumpsblue patent leather

#4 Red Mary Janes           #5 Black Pumps            #6 Royal patent w/ankle strap

lace pumpschinese platformglitter and acrylic

#7 Black lace ankle strap   #8 Chinese platform       #9 Glitter & acrylic

white laceGothicheart shoe

#10 White lace     #11 Gothic                          #12 Heart platform


leopard stilettomolded platformretro stilettos

#13 Leopard stilettos  #14 Molded platform   #15  Retro Pumps

red bowsee thru shoeswht two strap

#16 Red bow                        #17 See thru                      #18 White two-strap

silver straps8" weirdrhinestone stilettos

#19 Greek style          #20 8″ Weird                      #21 Rhinestone stilettos

My opinion? #12 is kind of quirky and weird, but # 20 makes my feet hurt just looking at them!

Of course, there are thousands more shoe styles, and this is but a small sampling. What strikes you as sexy?

I’d be thrilled if you could choose a pair you would wear and tell me why you like them and where you’d wear them.

Or, just tell me what your all-time favorite shoes were, sexy or not!

You know I love hearing from you and anxiously await your comments!

Stay-tuned for Wednesday’s Interview with Author, Lisa Rivero! I’ll be choosing one random commenter that day to receive a copy of Lisa’s newly released book, Oscar’s Gift!