I’m Not Old. Are You?

No one likes the idea of aging however, the alternative is not pleasant, either. 

We all would like to live very long and exceptionally healthy lives. More than ever, people are paying attention to their health and doing what’s necessary to remain fit and illness free.

We know exercise, fresh foods, and dietary supplements contribute to the reduction of doctor visits. A positive attitude, a life companion, the company of pets add to our enjoyment of life which keeps us healthy. We seek out new things to learn to keep our brains healthy. Stress is harmful so we do what we can to avoid or, at least, relieve it when it’s thrust upon us. We do countless other good-for-you things to keep our bodies and minds young.

No matter how hard we work at ‘growing younger’, the world insists on telling us how old we really are.

More and more restaurants cater to the elderly with a ‘senior menu’. That’s really nice but, there was a time when they considered a senior to be 65. They keep lowering that age…in most places it’s 55 now. I’ve seen it as low as 52!

If you decide to have an early dinner in a restaurant, you may be asked if you’re interested in the ‘Early Bird’ menu selections. One glance around the dining room will tell you why – it’s filled with gray-haired folks.

The grocery store cashier is packing your bags lighter each time she sees you. You end up with 10 weightless bags instead of your usual 5 ‘normal’ bags. She thinks you’re old.

Your hair stylist suggests a style you’d never considered yourself old enough to wear. She says it’s to camouflage your thinning locks!

You watch your favorite television programs and realize all the commercials are geared toward older adults for sanitary diapers, cholesterol and ED meds, supplemental insurance coverage for those on medicare, and reverse mortgages.

You’re Getting Older When…

– You wake up, looking like your driver’s license picture.

– When you don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.

– Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.old man napping

– Happy hour is a nap.

– It takes twice as long to look half as good.

– You get two invitations to go out on the same night, and you pick the one that gets you home the earliest.

– You give up all your bad habits and you still don’t feel good.

– You have more patience; but actually, it’s just that you don’t care any more.

– You confuse having a clear conscience with having a bad memory.

– Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

Adult diapers are actually kind of convenient.

– There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.

– You realize that a stamp today costs more than a picture show did when you were growing up.

– Your childhood toys are now in a museum.

– The clothes you’ve hung onto until they come back in style-come back in style.

I will continue to wage war against old age!

  • no helmet-head hairstylesold ladies with helmet hair
  • no blue hair rinse
  • no early bird dinners or senior menu orders
  • no pant suits
  • no embroidered sweatshirts with snowmen or kittens
  • no velcro sneakers
  • no afternoon naps
  • no park bench sitting
  • no magazines with the word senior in the title

This is a world domination plot begun by our children. 

Who will fight the image of “OLD” with me? I’d love to hear your ideas for changing the world’s image of us.

Before you go I want to remind you that today on the Life List Club Blog,  the adorable and funny Jess Witkins is posting! Please go visit her and see what she’s been up to! (It might have something to do with her attendance at a certain major writer’s conference!)

Then make sure you get back over there for Sherry Isaac‘s LLC post on Friday. (I’ve already peeked at it and I can only tell you it’s tongue-in-cheek fun and inspiring!)


29 thoughts on “I’m Not Old. Are You?

    • Yeah, Kate, it’s a good thing that we do that. There are bigger things to worry about – we’re too tired to care about the little stuff. 🙂

  1. AMEN Sista!!!

    I am absolutely with you except…I love pant suits, afternoon naps (OMG heavenly) and park bench sitting…

    Yikes! Looks like I am gearing UP for aging…LOL!!!

    FAB post!

    • I think your pant suits are not the ones I was thinking of, Nat. I’m talking the 70s style polyester, pastel colors ugly pant suits. And even the park bench sitting, I’m sure you’re not falling asleep while watching hot young men walk by, right? So you’re good…you’re not gearing up yet!

  2. LOL, love the embroidered sweatshirts, Marcia! I turned 50 a few weeks ago, and those AARP folks – well, it arrived in the mail on THE DAY I turned 50! Scary, huh?

    • Oy! I’ve come to hate AARP. I have a special file for all their mailings. It cylindrical and sits on the floor next to my desk. 😉 It seems there’s a huge market for those sweatshirts in the over 65 age group! Our Shades of Pink group should plan a covert op to burn them all!

  3. Hi Marcia,

    I couldn’t resist. Thanks to nanotechnology-enabled medical advances, many of those currently in their 50s will live to 120 years old. So, if you’re 55, you may not have hit middle age, yet. 🙂

    Also, when saving for your retirement, be sure to plan for those additional 2-3 decades of life.

    Cheers, Ashley

    • Ah, Ashley, thanks for tossing some practical thoughts into the mix. That could be a problem for us Baby Boomers–making our money last if we last beyond our expectations. We all need to be prudent with our financial decisions, for sure. But I’m loving the idea that i might be JUST getting to middle age! Thanks for commenting, my friend!

  4. What a fantastic post. I was nodding along half furious until you made me laugh. I love how you ended it on a good note, I would have been grumpy for the remainder of the day if you hadn’t!

    I will be more than happy to fight beside you against aging but first I must buy you a pink leather whip and gloves like mine. Now that would make one heck of a book — Shades of Pink! I also vow to be a medium light brown 5N girl forever. Love your smack-down on the kitty and snowmen sweatshirts too. *cracks pink whip*

    • OMG, Kate!! We are sisters! I must get a pink leather whip and gloves! That would be a great author photo, wouldn’t it? Well, maybe not, but I love it! Shades of Pink–what an awesome title! Can I use that for…something, Kate? That would fit my blog and my writing!
      Glad I made you laugh instead being grumpy!

  5. Fun post Marcia. LOL…I’m completely with Diana and not falling asleep with the mouth open! Of course, I still have young kids running around so that afternoon nap is peace on Earth. You’re only as old as you think you are and I still think of myself as in my thirties 😀

    • Based on that, Raelyn, I’m about 33 without kids (in my fantasy). 🙂 You and all my other girlfriends remind me to feel empowered and never old!

  6. Hi gals and friends, I knew this day would come…..playing devil’s advocate here….you honestly don’t know WHO or WHAT you will become until that Bullet Train called Life hits you in some unforeseen way. Fighting is not always the blessing we assume–fighting age?–Mother Nature is laughing. Can’t help but share one other thought: it wasn’t until I was through chemo (bald with butterflies was fun btw), and let my hair go natural, that the compliments flew: “HOW did you get that incredible platinum color? Who does your hair?” And I thought: how little I know about this grace called Life. All I have to do is just let go and Be. No one was more surprised than I was.

    • You’re so right, Susie. We can’t fight getting older, but we can fight unnatural aging and an ‘old’ mindset. I think those are the things that help us get through illness, loss and all the other happenings in life that threaten to run us over. You do live gracefully and beautifully on all I know about you. So happy you fought your way through your challenges and are still here to remind us that we might encounter a few surprises along our paths.

  7. I’m with you! We’re not old at all and don’t let anyone tell us otherwise! That list is hilarious. Except, I’m all about a good nap. Always have been, so that’s not an old thing for me.

    No helmet head hairstyles, that’s awesome. We can still be hip and sexy far into our 70’s, 80’s, and even the 90’s. I like the 70 something in Diana’s body pump class ~ that’s what we need to strive for. Not necessarily doing planks if that’s not your thing, but doing something that makes us feel good even though society thinks we’re too old for it.

    • Okay, well taking a nap won’t make you look old if you take one because they feel so good and NOT because you can’t get through the day without one. Whew! You’re still young, Tameri! Hip and sexy all the way!

  8. Your list cracked me up. I’ll add–I will not fall asleep sitting up or with my mouth open. I will not shuffle my feet. I will not complain about noisy children. I will not allow myself to slump.
    I’ve decided that you can get older without getting old. There’s a lady (she’s 70) in my body pump class who planks!

    • Oh I love that one, Diana – not falling asleep with your mouth open – paints quite a picture. lol
      I’m always checking my posture, too…no slumping for me. I’ve thought about trying a plank, but haven’t gotten the guts yet. I know you can keep up with her!

  9. Right on, Marcia! “Old” is most definitely a state of mind. Your list cracked me up and “There’s nothing left to learn the hard way” really rang true. We can wear that “Been there, done that” badge with pride and use our experience to help others. Sign me up to join your campaign!

    • State of mind–exactly, Patricia! I keep after my hubs to stop joking about being old, afraid he’ll start believing it one day! Experience is awesome–old is not! Thanks, Patricia for joining me in the fight against old age!

  10. Who said I am old…no I am not and I also will not be doing those things…I have my hair done every month…and I have no gray hairs 🙂 I recently had my license renewed and they asked if I wanted a new picture. I said hell no I look the same as the last one from 7 yrs ago right…so that picture will remain another 7 yrs. It symbolizes how I view myself. Now my body does not always have the same view but I am working on it.

    • Me, too, no gray! Never will, either! I love that you keep the old picture on your license–if you like it, go for it! I’ve never had a pic I liked for my driver’s license. I can’t figure out the best way to pose to look good. 🙂

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