Hi all! Remember The Life List Club Milestone party on December 30th? If you missed the party, you can see and hear it here. Well, Darlene Steelman was my prize-winner and (I’m sooo excited!) she’s here with me today to offer her way of looking at goal-setting.
First off I want to thank Marcia for having me here today. She has such a fun blog. It is goal oriented and the colors and design are easy on the eyes (bonus!). I also want to thank Marcia for giving me the opportunity for my first guest post. *gushy tears* Thank you! Without further ado, I bring you…
Realistic Goals Equal Confidence
Goals. We all have them. We all want to achieve them. Chances are on January 1, 2012 you made a list of resolutions, er, goals. Some of these included: lose weight, get published, save money and get rid of the monster under the bed.
I noticed I was not the only self-proclaimed genius that changed them from resolutions to goals.
“I won’t call them resolutions. I’ll call them goals.” I said in a non-human, high-pitched voice. As if, by changing the name, it changes everything. Well, an M&M wrapped in a lettuce leaf is still an M&M.
Resolutions are so 2011!
So this year I made a list of goals. There was a mix of some writing goals, some reading goals and some non-paper, non-pen, non-writing, non-pull my hair out by the roots goals.
Some of them were health related.
I’ll run five miles every day!
I’ll go to the gym eighteen times a week!
I’ll cut down on coffee!
Some of them weren’t.
I’ll get the window in my car fixed.
I’ll finally build that time capsule and go back to September 30, 1987.
Yes. I am exaggerating. My point is, we need non-work related goals. We need something to look forward to. We need to get through the goal/resolution/deal with Satan list and then get to one or two of our bullet points and say, “Well, hey this doesn’t look too bad.”
A snippet of my goal list went something like this:
· Get published.
· Go to the freaky deaky womba bomba GYM. (I have a hard time with this one due to the slacker gene passed down through my family – thanks Mom & Dad!)
· Lose ten pounds.
· Save money.
I will not bore you with the modifications of my goal list. It’s boring. It’s boring because it doesn’t involve Las Vegas, Fun Dip or cheetahs hopped up on Red Bull – separately or collectively.
In order to tackle the goals on your list, you must be practical. Saying you are going to run five miles a day when you haven’t run for five minutes in a year is unrealistic dumb.
a) You’re lying to yourself.
b) You’ll hurt yourself. Trust me – I speak from experience.
c) You’ll reinforce that mean voice in your head that tells you being fat is easier.
It is important to make them REAL because your mind is a funny thing. If you list goals you continually fail to meet, your subconscious tells you the following things:
· I suck
· I’m a loser
· I’m no good
· I should just give up and join a chocolate covered flea circus
WHAT? Yes. It’s terrible, right? Even more terrible is that you believe this crap.
So you make goals REAL.
I am going to walk ten minutes three days a week. You can always walk more if you want.
I am going to tidy up one shelf in the closet. You can always keep tidying.
I am going to skip Starbucks one morning a week. You might realize that good things happen to you when you don’t stop and spend fifteen minutes in a line to buy a five dollar cup of coffee.
I am going to save a dollar a day. This will turn into more once you figure out that you can do better.
Real goals equal confidence and confidence equals “Wow, I really can do this!”
So, get out your goal list, or make a new one. Throw some realistic non-writing goals on that list and see what happens. Again, starting small builds confidence and self-esteem which helps us make our goals a little bigger as we go.
Who knows, maybe something amazing will happen and you can write about it!
Darlene grew up in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania a misunderstood kid with a crazy mind. Finally, at the age of 38, she decided to put that crazy mind to good use and write.
When she’s not stopping her car in the middle of the road to protect crossing ducks and geese, she passes time with an office job, writing on her lunch and singing off key in the car.
By night she works on her first novel.
Darlene can be found at her blog Living Sober – Life at Full Throttle (http://thedailywoman.wordpress.com). You can peek in on her Twitter page at Darlene Steelman (twitter.com/DarleneSteelman) or find her on Facebook at Darlene Steelman (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Darlene-Steelman-Blogger/140596042683397).
I love this plan, Darlene! Starting small is a sensible and easy to manage way to accomplish whatever it is that’s on your list.
How about you? Did you slay the ‘negative thoughts’ monster? How real and practical are your goals?
You know we love hearing from you! Come on, share!