This is the first in a series about navigating the second half of our lives, happily, and reinventing ourselves as we move through mid-life. It’s a liberating time for us. The posts you’ll find here will address most of the emotional and physical issues we face as we grow older. If there is a topic you’d like me cover, please email me at marichards320ATyahoo.com. So grab a cup of your favorite beverage, curl up next to your computer and let’s plan the next half of our lives together!
“I must learn to love the fool in me… – the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool.” Theodore I. Rubin, MD
If you’re Catholic, you may have been raised to believe it’s a sin to love yourself. It isn’t. Vanity is a sin. Loving yourself is the most important thing you can do for your health and emotional well-being.
Dr. Rubin’s words speak of balance…your health depends on what’s going on with your mind, body and soul. If you’re putting everyone else first, paying less attention to good eating habits, not exercising, beating yourself up for not being able to keep all the balls in the air, you’ve lost your balance and your health will deteriorate. That’s no way to treat the #1 person in your life…YOU.
If you don’t love yourself first, you’ll run dry of love for everyone else. Imagine giving to others as a full glass of water that you pour from. If you continue to pour and never refill, you’ll empty yourself of love to give. How do we refill, recharge, and replenish ourselves, so that we will have the energy and love to give to others?
Treat Yourself: Allow yourself “Me” time. Go out for dinner, get a facial, spend time reading, go to a movie instead of renting, get a massage, paint, take dance lessons, learn something new, go on a vacation, write, take a bubble bath, watch the sunset, walk on the beach. It doesn’t matter much what it is, as long as it’s something that brings you joy.
Take Care of Your Body: Nourish your body by eating healthy foods and drinking more water. Join a gym and get the exercise to keep your body young. Get regular check-ups.
Monitor Your Self-Talk: Be kind to yourself. Stop the negative thoughts before you carry it too far. Instead of calling yourself a loser or stupid, tell yourself it’s okay to make a mistake because that’s how you learn. Eventually, you’ll catch yourself and switch from negative self-talk to more positive esteem enhancing words. Give yourself a pat on the back when you do something right and reward yourself when you’ve exhibited self-control.
Self Affirmation: Speaking positively about yourself will become a habit over time. You may need to lose weight and not feel good about your appearance. Instead of telling yourself how fat you look, tell yourself, “I can see my shape changing because of the hard work I’m doing changing to good eating habits and exercise.”
Support Yourself: When you need help ask for it. Don’t try to carry the load of your obligations by yourself. When feeling out of control, consult a doctor, psychologist, or anyone else qualified to help you get back on track.
When you feel cared for, rested, healthy, appreciated, you can then find the energy and wherewithal to give to others in your life. When you love yourself, you create self-confidence and self-awareness.
I believe in me. My strength is great. I love the fool in me.
I love hearing from you! So, tell me, how do you take care of yourself? Do you have any tips for our other readers?
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Writing Our Next Chapter Together